Think positive and positive things will happen
I am a LightWorker, and an ancient soul- Isis. These are my insights, with love, positive thoughts and energy, for anybody who might have similar issues in their marriage or relationships.
Sometimes, family issues can break a marriage. That’s very sad, and brings a lot of hurt, especially to the children of that marriage. Children do not have any fault that parents have issues, and did not “grow up”.
It can happen that the husband thinks that the wife is abusive and no longer understand him (or viceversa) . Fights and misunderstandings is the the order of the day.
For example, he has “relationship issues” with his wife. His wife “harassed me unnecessary to the extend of all limits”.
“She is unrespectful of anything I try to be, and against me in daily day to day life. If I wake up early in the morning, and I drop my younger brother where the companys bus comes, she starts abusing me saying I will not go out of room and drop my brother.”
You get the picture.
Did he find somebody else, and this is why he is so unhappy.
The answer, was no, but he lost his father as a young kid and have been raised (spoiled by his mother.
His (or maybe his mother impression and I think he does not see it) is that his wife is trying to control him, and “she is crazy”.
This a typical controlling issue between the mother and the wife.
The wife does not want the mother to controll/decide how they leave their life. The mother does not want to let go of “her boy”. This is her life. She lives through him.
The “boy” (now a married man with his own kids) is caught between the mother and the wife.
I think men and women need to understand that when you marry, they have to “grow up”. You are no longer the “mother’s little boy” or the “father’s little girl”.
For example, one complaint is: “…if I use the bathroom, naturally would be some water on bathroom floor, she shouts and abuses me that there should be no water in bathroom.”
Your wife is NOT your mother. She does not have to clean after you, or “spoil” you like your mother did. You are her life partner, not her kid. You both need to be responsible and share house work. She is not your “servant”. You know this bother her (maybe because she has to clean after you all the time), you start cleaning after you, for a change :-).
“She used to go to her mother’s place every week and was childish and when my father passed away she didn’t come. I did let go of this and lived with her but when my mother was hospitalised, that time she also did go to her home. So, I thought, the person who can not respect my family in time of need , how come she will be with me in worst conditions in my life …”. You both have to grow up. When you marry, you marry the family also (in a way, more or less :-).
You want to have a good and long marriage, you have to understand this. We all did make mistakes, and grow up with the relationship.
The longer it takes to understand this, the more marriages you will have, the more unhappy women, and very unhappy kids …
If you already had a marriage, and it did end more or less for the same reasons, you need to ask yourself why. Of course, one reason is that you had during that relationship the same mother
Mothers should be loved and respected, but this does not mean
that they can control or interfere in your marriage. If that happens, you need to be the man (not the boy) that balances the power struggle between the wife and mother.
Be conciliatory with both of them, and try what’s best for your marriage in a respectful way to the mother “controlling issues”.
The first issue is to see that you are caught in this love
power fight. They both love you and want what’s best for you, but like all humans they compete for your attention and love.
Nobody is perfect, or everybody is perfect in their own way.
So, see it, accept it, and deal with it as a man.
You should be grateful for the love that surrounds you, and do not let their “controlling” attitude ruin your life or marriage.
In time, they will get it :-).